Breakout New Adult sensation Monica Murphy returns with a hot new contemporary romance—a heartfelt story of second chances, forgiveness, and redemption.
Commitment. That’s what I really want from Colin. Ever since my brother, Danny, died in Iraq, Colin’s done so much to help me, including giving me a job at his popular restaurant so I can leave my crappy waitressing job at the strip joint. But lying in bed with him every night to comfort him from his horrible nightmares isn’t enough anymore. I know he feels guilty about Danny’s death, about not going to Iraq, but I can’t keep living this double life.
I love him desperately, but he’s got so many demons, and if he can’t open up to me now, then he’ll never be the real partner I need him to be. I gave him a month, and now I’m out of here. If he truly loves me like he says, he knows where to find me.
Commitment. That’s what I really want from Colin. Ever since my brother, Danny, died in Iraq, Colin’s done so much to help me, including giving me a job at his popular restaurant so I can leave my crappy waitressing job at the strip joint. But lying in bed with him every night to comfort him from his horrible nightmares isn’t enough anymore. I know he feels guilty about Danny’s death, about not going to Iraq, but I can’t keep living this double life.
I love him desperately, but he’s got so many demons, and if he can’t open up to me now, then he’ll never be the real partner I need him to be. I gave him a month, and now I’m out of here. If he truly loves me like he says, he knows where to find me.
An Excerpt:
“You’re going to
turn me away yet again, aren’t you?” she asks when I don’t say anything. The
irritation in her voice rings clear as her entire body goes tense. “I can’t
believe it. I offer myself up to you with no strings attached and you’re trying
to figure out how to let me down easy. God, I am such a moron.”
Unable to hold
myself back, I rush toward her, angry that she would insult herself. Panicked
that she really is going to walk away and I’m going to lose my chance. Thinking
too much sucks. I need to just let it happen. Take this opportunity that she’s
presenting me.
And let her go
when our time is up.
“You’re not a
moron,” I murmur, reaching for her. I cup her face in my hands and position her
so she has no choice but to meet my gaze. I skim my thumbs across her cheeks,
feel her shudder at my touch. “You make an offer like that and a man needs to
process it first.”
The unshed tears
still glimmer in her eyes and one escapes, leaving a damp trail across her
skin. Leaning in, I stop its descent with my lips, tasting the salt, hearing
the catch in her breath. “We do this and it’s not going to be some half-assed
thing, you know,” I whisper.
She closes her
eyes, her tears tangled in her long, thick lashes. “What’s it going to be,
then?”
“A discovery.” I nuzzle
her nose with my own, breathing in her scent, her very essence. God, I could
devour her! It’s taking everything within me to keep calm and not unleash all
over her. “An exploration.”
“That sounds like
. . . research.” Her breath hitches in her throat when I drop a tender kiss on
the tip of her nose.
Chuckling, I shake
my head. “It’s the farthest thing from research.” I drift my lips across her
cheek, blazing a hot path on her petal-soft skin. “You’re right when you said I
don’t do commitment. The closest thing I’ve ever been to commitment is . . .
what I share with you.”
She tentatively
places her hands on my hips, her fingers curling into the waistband of my
jeans. Having her hands on me sends little darts of fire throughout my insides,
making me harden in an instant. She has no idea what sort of effect she has on
me. How much restraint I’m using at this very moment not to throw her over my
shoulder like an oversexed caveman and cart her off to my bedroom.
“But it can be no
more than friendship with added . . . benefits.” I lift my head so I can look
into her troubled gaze. She doesn’t like what I have to say and I don’t like it
either, but I have to be honest. Stringing her along and making her believe
this is something more is a mistake.
The two of us
together would never work. I’m too damn selfish. I’d disappoint her. I’d hold
her back when she needs her freedom. I’m not worthy of her. She’s everything
sweet and good in my life, where there’s little sweet and good remaining.
I’ve kept her—and
our relationship—as pure as possible even after all of these years. With the
realization that she’s leaving me, that we’ll never be together again, I need
to take my opportunities where I can.
Jen bites her lip
and drops her gaze. “I can handle that.”
Her body language
is more than telling me she doesn’t really want to handle that, but I can’t
worry about it now.
I want her too
damn much.
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