When two lost souls find each other are they still lost?
At twenty years old, Charlotte O'Brien is suddenly lost and can't seem to find her way home. In the wake of her parents' tragic death she replaces a healthy mourning period with an emotionally and sexually intense relationship with Jason Leer, a fellow lost soul and an unlikely lover. She's a student of diversity, a lover of Manhattan, and about to be a junior at Rutgers University. He's a steer wrestler, an Oklahoma State cowboy, and the hottest thing Charlotte has ever laid eyes on.
Charlotte buries herself in Jason. When they're together it's everything, but when they're apart it's utterly frustrating. Can love survive when distance is measured in more than just miles?
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Enjoy an excerpt
Enjoy an excerpt
“To exist in silence as I lay my soul bare”
And so it goes. The
days are blurs of Sean, Jenn, and Margo helping me with the administration of
my life. There’s a will, a house, cars, belongings. Too much to comprehend. And
my nights are Jason Leer.
He comes when the
others leave; always here within minutes of loneliness setting in. He saves me
from my thoughts and my memories. Two days ago I showed him the key under the
turtle rock and now he no longer knocks. Knocking would imply asking permission
to come in and he’s already here.
Something’s different
about tonight, though. Sean and Michelle brought dinner over and drove Dad’s
tractor back to their house. They left an hour ago, later than expected, and
he’s still not here. I haven’t slept without him since the funeral and now that
he’s absent, the depth to which I need him scares me.
I look in the mirror
as I brush my teeth and my face is distraught. I refuse to let myself consider
why. Too afraid it has more to do with Jason’s absence than with my parents.
That’s impossible, though. Did he say he had something to do tonight? Did he
say anything? Do we ever say anything? I thought I understood. Until tonight.
Now that he’s not here the last week no longer makes sense.
I button the last
button on my favorite nightshirt and climb into bed. It’s enormous and cold
without him. The silent darkness allows the memories to seep in. The moonlight
invades my room and everything is gray and sad. Why?
Why did you die?
Why aren’t you here?
Where the hell is Jason Leer?
Tears fill my eyes,
and I roll onto my stomach and bury my face in my pillow. I can’t be without
them. They have to come back. I hear the truck tires on the gravel of my
driveway and hurry out of bed. His truck door moans as he closes it and I go to
the back door to meet him. I open it just as he’s fitting the key into the
lock.
His smile fades as the
look on my face registers. He steps to me and wipes the tears from my face,
which makes me cry a little more.
“I’m sorry I’m late,”
he whispers, so as to not disturb the quiet that’s descended on the house. He
smells of cigarettes and dirt. Actual dirt. And I’m so thankful he’s here.
“I was worried.”
“Worried I wasn’t
coming?” Jason moves closer to me and I lose my breath as he pins me up against
the wall. I nod my head slowly, my eyes never leaving his.
“I came as soon as the
rodeo ended.”
“The rodeo.”
“Did you forget the
rodeo?”
“No. I know the rodeo
is on Saturday.” Jason’s face turns to confusion. “I didn’t know today is
Saturday,” I say, and my complete disconnection from the living makes me start
to cry again. If my parents were alive, I would know what fucking day it is.
Jason pulls me close
to him and kisses the side of my head as he runs his fingers through my hair.
“I need a shower,” he
says, but I can’t be concerned with what he needs.
“I need you.”
I lay my soul bare;
Jason’s to do with me what he wants because I can’t seem to care about it
anymore. He forces me back to the wall and presses his body against mine until
I can feel him. Until I can feel something.
About the author:
After graduating from Rutgers University and returning to her hometown in rural South Jersey, Eliza Freed discovered her creativity and gift for story telling as a corporate trainer and spent years perfecting her presentation skills and studying diversity. It was during this time she became an avid observer of the characters we meet and the heartaches we endure. Her years of study have taught her laughter is the key to survival, even when it’s completely inappropriate. She currently lives in New Jersey with her family and a misbehaving beagle named Odin. An avid swimmer, if Eliza is not with her family and friends, she’d rather be underwater. While she enjoys many genres, she has always been a sucker for a love story…the more screwed up the better.
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